


Through Her Eyes

by peculiarmars



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Eurus-Centric, Gen, Kid Eurus, Kid Fic, Kid Sherlock, Mycroft Being a Good Brother, Teen Mycroft, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 15:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11039004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peculiarmars/pseuds/peculiarmars
Summary: She watches him, one socked foot over the threshold, fingers curled into the wood of the doorframe, tear tracks down his cheeks, and can't understand why he's so upset.





	Through Her Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> basically the events of Sherlock's childhood from Eurus pov. I surprisingly liked writing in her pov. Comment or leave kudos if you enjoyed this fic!!!

Logically she knows that Mycroft should be her favourite. Fat Mycroft, who understands equations and how to get things from people. Mycroft who is snarky and cynical. Her eldest brother understands things that she doesn't, like why Mummy and Daddy got so upset when she sliced her arms open. She still doesn't get why Daddy had looked so worried and pale, why Mummy had cried or why little William had screamed so much. Mycroft tells her that she's not supposed to do things like that, because it was dangerous and painful. "Which one is pain?" She had asked while Mummy was bandaging her arm. Mummy had gone so shaky that Mycroft had needed to finish wrapping it. Mycroft also tells her that caring is not an advantage, but she can't figure out which one caring is either.

 

Mycroft is brilliantly smart, and she knows she is just like him, but it is the smaller brother who she likes more.

 

William is everything that Mycroft is not. William is smart, but not at things like Mathematics or History. William is smart at playing. He makes up entire worlds, pretends he's a prince or a king or, most recently, a pirate. William plays the Violin with her after she discovered the sounds they could make, Mycroft had said he was too busy.

 

Mycroft chastises him whenever he comes back from the grounds covered in watery mud.

 

"Really, little brother, are you so stupid that you can not figure out how to play without becoming part of the gardens?"

 

William flicks a bit of mud at him in response. She giggles at Mycroft's glare, directed at the both of them.

 

Mycroft is clever but boring. William is stupid but _fun_. Mycroft has a permanent look of displeasure etched across his face. William is smiley and giggly.

 

"Why don't you ever smile, Eurus?" He asked one evening, whilst colouring in her room. Eurus's drawing is of Fat Mycroft. William's drawing is of a dog.

 

"I don't see the point."

 

William sighs. "But there isn't supposed to be a point. You just do it."

 

She doesn't say anything, and they go back to colouring in silence. She rips up her picture when William leaves. Colouring is pointless, she thinks, as she drags one of Mycroft's Mathematics books out from under her bed.

* * *

 

 

"Mycroft?" She asks over breakfast. William isn't there, he's out with Mummy. Mycroft spares a glance at her. "Why is William so . . ." Her brain knows a lot of words, none of them accurately describe William.

 

"William isn't really anything. Lots of other children are like him at that age."

 

She frowns into her pancake. "But not me?"

 

"What makes you think you're different?"

 

"I'm smart. He's not. He plays pretend games, I don't get that. He's slow and he's stupid. Don't stupid people get send away to mad houses so they can go be stupid together?" She remembers Mycroft saying to William that if he continued being so slow Mummy and Daddy would send him away. She had thought Mycroft was lying.

 

"No, most people get sent away because they're sick, not stupid. William being an idiot does not make him sick."

 

Eurus nods, tucking this bit of information away in her head.

* * *

 

 

William remains her favourite until she is six years old and William is seven. Because when she is six and he is seven, she meets Victor Trevor.

 

She doesn't have an opinion of him at first. He is just there. William brought him round to lunch. His shoes are caked in mud and they're both wearing pirate hats. Mummy fusses over the both of them, and Daddy calls out a hello. Mycroft is out and Eurus is already sitting up the table, a physics book open in front of her.

 

"Hi, Eurus." William greets as he and Victor pull out their chairs. "This is Victor."

 

"Hello, Victor." She says robotically. 'Cause that's what Mycroft said she had to do when she was introduced to people. You have to say hello back. Victor doesn't notice how flat her voice sounds, and she can tell by the small crease between his eyebrows that William does.

 

How stupid, she thinks, must Victor be if William can see it?

 

Victor, as it turns out, is very stupid. He doesn't know Mathematics or Science like her brothers do, and he can't do the Alphabet backwards. Whenever he comes round, he drags William away from her, and they stay out on the grounds for hours and hours, even in the rain.

 

She followed them outside once, just one time, and asked if she could play. William looked like he was about to say yes, but he never got to talk because Victor opened his mouth first.

 

"No, go away. Sissy girls can't play this game." Victor yelled, for they were too far from the house to be heard.

 

Eurus had stood there and waited for William to come to her defence. All she got was silence, then a shrug. He didn't look so happy anymore.

 

Eurus marched off to play her own game, down by the lake. Only she got through ten minutes of pretending before it got boring. Everything was boring now Victor was here, Eurus thought, staring sullenly into her reflection. _If only I could make him go away_.

 

William used to smile at her and be happy playing with her before him. Now he only frowns and never lets her play. She picked up a stone and hurled it into the water, watching the water engulf it and disappear. If only she could make Victor disappear like that.

 

Something that could replace Victor like he replaced her. A dog? William had always wanted a dog. Personally, she had never known why. Dogs were messy and sloppy and noisy. She would put up with a messy dog if it meant that William smiled more. Except Daddy is allergic, which the reason why they don't have one in the first place. Maybe something else, like a cat? Cats were more cleaner than dogs so a cat would be better anyway.

 

Fixtated on her idea, she sets off that morning to find a cat. Suprisingly, it only takes her fourty minutes off of the grounds for her to find one. It's small, only a kitten, and seems to be alone. There's a collar loosely wrapped around its neck, and she eases it with with no trouble. The kitten is completely black, and she knows William will name it something stupid like 'Midnight', but it'll replace Victor so she decides not to care.

 

As she walks back to the house, her hands tighten on the small kitten, one hand circling where the collar was. It has gone to sleep when she arrives home. It's not moving.

 

She stealthly climbs the staircase, making sure Mummy and Daddy don't hear her, 'cause she's not supposed to go out along, and drops the kitten on William's bed, leaving as silently as she had entered.

 

She hears William laughing as he goes into his room. And then yelling joyfully for Mummy and Daddy. She smiles, knowing that Victor won't be needed anymore. Then she touches her face, and realises that William was right. It _does_ just happen.

 

It isn't until late that night, after William's laughter died down, that Mycroft came into her room. She feigned sleep, too happy for Mycroft's boringness. Mycroft sits down heavily on the end of her bed.

 

"I know it was you, Eurus, who put that dead cat on William's bed. Why, Eurus, why would you do something like that?" Mycroft sounds upset, and she is suddenly angry. He's got it wrong. The cat wasn't dead. Dead things aren't like that. William was so happy, why did Mycroft have to spoil it like that?

 

She wants to jump up and punch Mycroft in his fat stomach. She doesn't, just keeps lying there, still and silent. She counts the second until he leaves. Four-hundred and eighty-nine.

* * *

 

 

William isn't the same after that. He's quieter and refuses to look at her. No matter how many times she throws a toast soldier at him, he just stays quiet. Mummy and Daddy are being quieter too. Mycroft keeps looking at her funny.

 

She follows William up the stairs after he has quietly finished his breakfast. He turns as he pushes the door open and flinches after she reaches out her arm. She lowers it.

 

"William, why are you being weird?" She didn't know how that was a bad thing to say. He _was_ being weird. Apparently it was, though, because William flushed red and clenched his fists.

 

"I'm weird? I'm not weird, you are! You're sick, Eurus, sick in your brain! You're horrible and I hate you! I wish you'd just go away. I wish you'd never been born! I wished you had died when you cut your arms open!" He stamps his foot with each 'I wish' and the noise sends Mummy and Daddy rushing up the stairs. They hear only the end of William's little speech, and Mummy gasps.

 

"William Sherlock Scott Holmes!" She shrieks at him, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Don't you ever say anything like that to your sister ever again!"

 

William face screws up and she almost rolls her eyes at whats coming. "But Mummy, she started it! She put that dead kitten in my room! I hate her!" He breaks down in sobs, as Eurus expected, and Mummy takes him into her arms. She picks him up, as if he was a baby, and takes him to Mummy and Daddy's room.

 

Daddy keeps his hand on her shoulder until she shrugs it off. He looks slightly ill, she thinks.

 

"Eurus, honey, did you put that dead cat on William's bed?" He queries.

 

 _It wasn't a dead thing!_ She wants to scream. Instead she says: "No, Daddy. Maybe it was Victor, wasn't he here yesterday?" And then she blinks at him innocently before going into her own room.

 

* * *

 

 

William has more is less forgotten about the not-dead kitten in a few months. Eurus is upset, because she was trying to make him smile and had instead made him cry. She is also upset because of the amount of Victor she has to see.

 

With it being the beginning of the holidays, Victor is at her house almost everyday. She had deduced in the past that his parents had an unhappy marriage and his prolonged absence from his own home confirms it.

 

Victor never cared for her before, but now he truly despises her. Whenever Mummy or Daddy or Mycroft aren't around he calls her a 'sissy' or a 'faggot' and one time 'bitch'. William seemed to think that he had gone too far. He had shoved Victor away and yelled "That's my sister!" before running off, leaving Victor and Eurus glaring at eachother. Victor's face burns red with humiliation. Eurus wonders if he'll hit her. She takes one step towards him and he flees in William's direction.

 

She doesn't see him for a whole day and thinks that maybe he really has gone. Eurus and William talk about Biology over their pancakes, and she spends the afternoon practicing French with him. In the evening they play their violins together, Eurus leading with William following by ear.

 

Then he's back the next day, shattering Eurus's perfect reality. He doesn't say anything to her, only glaring her when when she catches him staring. It unnerves him, so she keeps doing it, until Mycroft shakes his head quietly and she stops.

 

She starts playing alone again and discovers a well. It's not technically on their property, it's a little way outside. It's deep and is half full.

 

And suddenly Victor Trevor disappears without a trace. The Police are called, and they comb over the grounds for days and find nothing, barely only trace that Victor had ever even been there. Daddy gets interviewed, then Mummy, then Mycroft. William doesn't really get interviewed, not like they do. They just ask him to calmly state his version of events. He does, many times. Tells them how Victor was sleeping in his room and he woke up and was simply gone. _No_ , he tells them, _I didn't hear anyone come in. The door didn't even open._

 

Eurus doesn't even get interviewed. The police cast her aside like she's irrelevant. Mummy and Daddy do too.

 

William and Mycroft don't. Mycroft watches her constantly. He's trying catch her out, she knows. But he doesn't. William watches her too, in fear. That annoys her. Victor was mean and made them all sad, so why would him leaving make William scared?

 

* * *

 

 

She watches him, one socked foot over the threshold, fingers curled into the wood of the doorframe, tear tracks down his cheeks, and can't understand why he's so upset.

 

"Eurus," He says hoarsly, a sob escaping his throat. "Eurus, please, where's Victor?"

 

She hums under her breath in response. He reaches out a hand, dropping it as she pulls away, mimicking her actions from those weeks ago. "Eurus please," He begs.

 

 _"East winds blow, sixteen by six feet, and under we go,"_ She sings, ignoring him. He stays just outside her room, listening to her sing, before running back down stairs. She almost smiles. Maybe William wasn't so stupid after all.

 

* * *

 

 

She's wrong about Willam. No matter how many times she sings her song, he doesn't get it. Although, she must've blame William. Mycroft and Mummy and Daddy don't get it either. She stops singing it after a month. It get's boring when no-one plays along.

 

She starts a pointless thing, drawing. She draws Mummy and Daddy, fat Mycroft, and sad William. She draws a dog, too. William would like that. They look sad, so she draws them again and again, especially William. She feels like she needs to rid the paper of his sad face, and know that just tearing up the pages won't work. She needs something that will destroy them, all evidence gone. She needs them to burn.

 

She's been told all about fire and matches. Mummy told her that it was dangerous, but she lights candles all the time so it can't be that bad.

 

But nobody had told her how fast fire spread. She hadn't been prepared for it to engulf the entire floor, just the paper. The flames get bigger and she feels a wave of warmth settle over her. She watches as it engulfs her bed, suddenly reminded of the stone in the water. She reaches out a hand, wanting to know what fire feels like when suddenly she's being wrenched backwards, dragged down the staircase and out of the front door. She watches as the fire engulf's the entire house, watches it blacken and burn.

 

* * *

 

 

She's taken away after that. She doesn't know why made her leave, or why, but she suspects Mycroft had something to do with it. Stupid, fat interfering Mycroft.

 

She's sent to a hospital, not a normal one, but like the ones Mycroft used to taunt William about. Not for sick bodies but sick heads. She doesn't understand why they think she belongs with people who do nothing but drool and scream. Her brain is going to rot. There's nothing to do, just empty rooms in her head and white walls. On her second week she understands why they scream and drool so much. The stupidness makes them do it.

 

She gets weekly letters from Mycroft, always formal and straight forward. William is called Sherlock now. He's started a new school. They've moved away from the family estate.

 

Sometimes she gets one from Mummy or Daddy, and they always end in kisses and wishes for her to get better. She mostly rips them ones up. She would make herself better if she know what part of her head that was sick. William never writes. Months pass. She turns seven and she knows William is now eight and Mycroft now fifteen. She still gets nothing from William, and Mycroft's letters are becoming less and less frequent.

 

She's being forgotten, she realises one morning after waking up to a windowless room and white ceiling. That scares her. Really, really scares her. She finds the feeling funny, and then spends the next seven minutes throwing up. She doesn't want to be forgotten, not by William. Mummy and Daddy can forget, Mycroft she could cope with.

 

She spends the next month on her best behaviour. She tells her psyciotysts want they want to hear, not the truth. They start trusting her more.

 

This goes on for another year, after the letters have stopped coming altogether. She acts like the perfect dumb child. Maybe they'll let her home if she acts stupid like William or Victor did.

 

She keeps trying until she finds another box of matches.


End file.
